I am officially retired! I went out last night with my work mates and had a lovely evening, they'd made me a photo album & DVD of some of the things we'd done as a team (Christmas lunch on the beach!!!).

They all reassured me that I will always be a part of the team and I do believe that as we are all good friends but it feels so weird. I will never work again, I will never get the opportunity to explore where my career could have gone.

I feel very proud of what I achieved in my role, I actually changed the way Bournemouth do things for children moving to adoptive placements - I did that...but I didn't get to share my experiences with other practitioners in other authorities, I didn't get to move on and now I never will.

I don't know why I feel so upset about this - it's not like I've been desperate to keep working or anything, I guess it's just that now it is officially over - a part of my identity has gone.